Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Book Review: Lisey's Story - Stephen King

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A few months ago I had picked up Stephen King’s fine book on writing – On Writing. The first half of the book was autobiographical and the second was about his experiences as a writer, what makes him write and what aspiring writers should do to grow into the kinds of writers they like reading. There was a brief section toward the end about his nearly fatal accident and the painful recovery process. I had never been a Stephen King fan until I read this book. It wasn’t as if I had anything against the author - just the horror genre. I scare easy, especially when the scare emanates from the pages of a book - it is an unshakeable scare when it comes from a book; your fingers seem glued to the book as it draws you in deeper and deeper.

I have seen movies based on his books – Misery, Carrie, The Shining, The Langoliers – and have enjoyed them immensely, but something kept me away from his books. On Writing, however, was the turning point. I liked the author and his ideas about life, love, writers and writing so much that I decided to orient myself to some of his works.

I couldn’t resist the bright red cover of his new book Lisey’s Story. It was getting good reviews and I liked what I read in the dust jacket synopsis. The cover underneath the dust jacket was quite intriguing as well. It showed a bright garden, all kinds of bright and colorful tropical flowers and plants crowding each other out on the bottom portion of the picture, as if one was about to pick up a Maeve Binchy book, but as your eyes followed it up the cover it slowly faded into warped, rotten, dead and wilted trees and flowers. I had to buy it. Lisey’s Story had drawn me in even before I could read the first word on the first page.

It is interesting to read an author’s work after having read their autobiography. Authors are always questioned about the autobiographical content in their works of fiction. One assumes these threads run through their work with some consistency. I suppose we all want to know what makes each writer write a certain way. We want to get inside their heads and learn more about them. On the face of it, this goes against my assertion that most of us are so self-absorbed we couldn’t care less what makes others tick, but on another level it affirms it. Those of us who aspire to write want to know about the inner mechanics of a writer’s brain, so we can find some similarities in experience or background – so we can attempt to answer the question – Why can’t we do it if they can? That’s when we either throw up our hands in defeat and accept that we will never be able to write as well as they do or we tell ourselves that the more we read the better we will be able to write, that it isn’t easy, it needs a certain devotion to the craft. It needs ones singular attention. King often stresses this in his book on writing. So, needless to say, I too was searching for parallels in Lisey’s Story, wondering how close it came to the story of Tabby (King’s wife – the book is dedicated to Tabby. Maine, King’s state, is the setting for this novel, although there are parts based in Pittsburgh, West Virginia and Nashville. I did find many parallels, a few of them confirmed by the author himself and the last couple of pages of credits. Seeking the parallels was a thrill in itself.

The protagonists in the novel are a famous author and his wife: the author who carries dark secrets with him and his wife – the only safe haven in his tormented world. Ostensibly, the story is one of love and devotion, of spines of steel and imaginations that have merged with reality. It’s about being there for those who matter to you and about knowing when to move on, when to close the final chapter. The plot was masterful and riveting. But as a reader I noticed several delicious layers of rapturous story-telling, of authenticity, of reality, of living with psychoses and finding safe havens.

Stephen King must be so finely attuned to the speech patterns and dictions of various parts of the country. He switched from the anglicized sounds of Maine to the flat and nasal intonations of the Midwest to the southern drawl with such ease, transporting the reader with him, making them feel as though they were watching each scene unfold in front of their eyes. The book is about the blurring and eventual erasure of the line between the real and the shadow worlds of our imaginations and just as the protagonists find their alive and vibrant shadow world, the reader too feels her own sleeping imagination sparked alive. The fiction seems to rise up in wisps through the pages of the book and surround you in the wondrous reality of daylight Boo’Ya Moon and the terrors of the night, where one is in danger of coming across the bad-gunky and tracking down bools. Yes, these words are creations of the author. We also come across acronyms like SOWISA (Strap On When It Is Most Appropriate) and many others. This is what is most appealing, this shows the inner map, the inner mechanics of a marriage that has worked over many years - married couples, families, brothers and sisters, we all share codes or forms of expression that would be so meaningless to an outsider, and it is delightful to see them flow through King's pen with such authenticity and such natural ease.

There is an interesting vignette within the story of when the author-protagonist (Scott Landon) has submitted his manuscript for editing and his editor calls the plot 'creaky' and not real enough. After letting out some steam about it he chances upon a newspaper story about a dog named Ralph who returns to his owners after being missing for six months - just walks back in all by himself. He points to the story and asks his wife what the chances were that his editor would call a similar fictional occurrence in his plot 'creaky'? Since that time the couple has a new saying that is often pulled out when appropriate: "Reality is Ralph". There are ways in which we greet those who are close to us, there are secrets and jokes we share that are foreign to those who are not a part of our closest circle and King brings out this aspect of our lives with such beauty and clarity.

Some books are like echoes, they resonate and call you back to visit long after you slam the back cover to the last n-hundredth page. This was one of them. I believe many more Stephen King books will line my bookshelves from now on.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Smiling Sun

The sun is always smiling as it hangs on the bright blue ceiling of a cloudless sky while smiling people with long eyelashes, pert noses and upturned mouths take walks with their kids and dogs and cats on the green grass floor. They never stray too far from the tall home with curtained windows and elaborate, transomed doors. The hearth must always be warm as the smoke leaves the chimney in swirling wisps, birds fly in formation and no picture is ever complete without hearts, flowers and butterflies.

Every picture declares love in letters that took on a distinct personality, a definite tilt and an undisguised flair only yesterday. Every picture is a priceless gift that transforms itself into instant refrigerator art.

May the sun always smile on you through cloudless skies and yes my dear, a heart full of love is the most important thing in the world!

Friday, December 15, 2006

Grand Finale!

The show's over now, the stage has been cleared, the audience has left the building. But I wouldn't be lying if I said these were the best fifty-seven minutes of my life. I am so glad I sent TF that first tentative response to his call for wannabe female back up vocalists. I had several pangs of regret over the last few weeks thinking I was in over my head but it all came together so well in the end. I would definitely sign up again next year! Can't wait to see the video recording. Anoushka has already been going around telling everyone that her Mom is in a rock band, so it would be nice to have a video that backs up her assertion. After all how many kids her age can say their Mom performed on stage at the Hard Rock Cafe in New York!

We really rocked the house. I had my own little cheering section of the 20 colleagues in my department out of the 400 that attended, they were clapping their hands, waving at me, cheering me on. What made it even more exciting is that they would never expect someone like me to be up there on stage. I have to admit I was thrilled at comments like, "Oh my God! I never knew you sang! You were so good up there! We could clearly hear your voice, distinct from the others!" Even the problem I had with the beats (coming in a fraction early or too late) vanished and I nailed it - getting real thumbs up looks from the other band members! I still cannot get over the excitement and the adrenalin rush!

But enough about me! I was just a back up singer, the other members of the band had much grander roles and grand performances. At the end of our show the auditorium rang out with cries of "Encore! Encore!" We were all tempted to go back on stage but the Hard Rock Cafe stage had been booked for only so much time.

Somewhere on this blog is something I had written about only a handful of days being memorable enough to find a permanent place in our minds. The other ordinary days just fade away, unremembered. This will certainly not be one of those unremembered days.

Until I can post a link to our performance, enjoy Beyonce Knowles doing her tribute to Tina and picture me as one of the three back up singers there...except not dressed quite as flamboyantly...and not quite so smooth with the dance moves. But I certainly enjoyed myself as much as they did:






Thank you all who left me wonderful words of encouragement on my last panicked post. I honestly was at my wit's end. But all's well that ends well!

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Danger - Slippery Slopes

Danger Ahead

Hand wringing isn't an option, I don't do that. I am calm, or rather, am pretending to be calm. It has been said that you eventually become what or who you pretend to be, so that's the hope.

As I stand poised at base camp the week ahead appears like the towering K2 with unpredictable weather and inadequate supplies. I am not the first or the last person in the world facing a difficult week. I hear about the unexpected twists and challenges folks face everyday. They like to tell me what they're going through, I like to listen, I can't do much else. Every now and then I yearn for someone who would listen to me, or say just the right things to help me overcome my challenges or difficulties. But I don't believe such a person exists. Patronizing words of false sympathy or genuine pity or even promises to pray for me rub me very much the wrong way. They are all just words.

Such yearnings however, are fleeting. I don't dwell on them. Self help is the only thing one can count on. In writing things here I am trying to draw myself a roadmap for the anticipated rocky terrain. So here goes:

Monday - I had the foresight to take the day off. At least I can stay asleep till 7 AM or so. Then I need to attend to the needs of Fudge and take A to school. The house is a complete mess and there are unopened pieces of mail and bills strewn around. I'll need to clean up and then review the piles of mail. Tomorrow is also rehearsal night - a three hour long rehearsal - 6 - 9 PM. So I need to leave for NYC by 4, with Anoushka. She'll need earplugs to protect her from the noise levels or else I'll be tagged as an irresponsible parent. The tricky part is the basement cleaning appointment that I scheduled for 3:30 PM! I knew I had rehearsal, so why did I do this? Tomorrow morning I will need to decide whether I want to tell the band that I won't show up for rehearsal (I'll feel awful since only 4 days remain to the show) or I'll need to call the cleanup guy and tell him to reschedule. I would hate to do that; thanks to Fudge, the current state of the basement is intolerable to me. Maybe the morning light will yield some answers.

Tuesday - I need to make sure I get home exactly at 6:30 PM so that A and I can go home, collect F's vaccine history and F (in a crate) and take him to PetSmart for training classes. The classes will probably last an hour or so. After that I'll need to worry about dinner and then I'll start worrying about F retaining everything he learns in this class. It would mean more training work for me at home and how would I be able to keep up with that if I'm away from home for 12 hours??

Wednesday - Wednesday is the day of our holiday luncheon and the Yankee Swap gift exchange event. Hopefully I would have contributed my $10+ gift to the pile by Wednesday. Wednesday is also rehearsal night, which means I won't be home till 9:30 or 10 PM. I don't know anyone who could keep A for that long. So the only alternative is to have her miss school, take her to work with me, have her participate in the official holiday luncheon and then subject her to loud rock music till 8 PM before driving home. I'll still have dinner to think about after I get back.

Thursday - Hmm...Thursday doesn't look too bad, except for a promise to meet up with a friend from India around 7:30 PM or so. We were originally supposed to meet on Sunday but then he got busy and Thursday, as you can see, is really the only day I am available.

Friday - Friday is the day of the show. It is our annual function. The first part of the event is speeches and awards and all employees are required to be at the auditorium by 8:45 AM. If I need to drop A off at her daycare center at 6:30 AM then I can't catch my bus until 7:15 AM and this particular bus will get me to the auditorium by 9:15!! I hate entering things like auditoriums late, every eye turns toward you, speech givers might stop mid-sentence, I'll never live down the embarrassment. I have been wracking my brains for a solution but can't think of anyone who would take A at 6 AM and drop her off at school a little later. Maybe it's my non-existent social skills but I am quite friendless in this regard, have never cultivated a list of reliable, helpful neighbors. I need to work on that (among other things) but I have no alternatives for Friday. I'll need to swallow my embarrassment about arriving late. Once I get there I'll spend three hours agonizing about the upcoming stage performance for which I have been rehearsing for the last six weeks. Hope I won't freeze, hope I won't appear awkward and stiff and hope I'll keep the beat.

And believe it or not, these are just the lace and frills that decorate my stressful work week, the week of the year end financial close where I cannot afford a single misstep. My early departure from work is bound to raise several eyebrows this week. My only option would be to raise the eyebrows back at them, accompanied by a shrug that says - "Whaddaya want me to do??"

Oh God! Please give me the strength to get through this week.

Sunday, December 3, 2006

Rear View Mirror

There’s only so much you can see in your rear view mirrors. You glance up every now and then praying you wouldn’t see the red, white and blue flashing lights coming up behind you, insisting you pull over. You also keep checking to make sure no humongous truck or aggressive speeder is bearing down on you, but other than that it’s just something that serves to underscore your fast disappearing life.

Endless miles of roads, covered so many times that you lose track of all distinctions between the past, present and future. I have a feeling you could take a picture of the highway, appearing to converge somewhere in the point you passed several minutes ago, the soundproofing barriers on either side of the road that stop the hum of the highway from disturbing suburban idylls and the endless cars behind you, and simply paste it on the rectangular reflective object that you call your rear view mirror. I don’t think you’d be missing much, that’s how little the scenery behind you changes on any given day.

It does get interesting sometimes when traffic is at a dead stop and you are bored out of your mind. Then you look up to see a woman, her mouth forming a perfect O as she applies mascara to her eyelashes and then attaches a metallic object that appears like a torture instrument, but is in fact a harmless eyelash curler. Just as she is in the middle of curling her eyelashes, the traffic inches forward and she drives forward with the thing attached to her eyelashes. Why is it so important to have curled eyelashes that would be batted at a computer screen for 99% of her day? In fact harried women provide the most thought provoking rear viewed moments. Why did she not apply all her make up at home? Perhaps there wasn’t enough time? She wanted to get out of the house just in time so she could miss the very crawl of which she was now a part, but a part of her knew that the crawl would offer ample opportunity to put on the mask through which she would view her world that day. Sometimes you see them taking both their hands off the steering wheel to pat imaginary stray hairs back in place, turning their heads this way and that until they land the most satisfactory pat on the top or sides of their heads.

The men, they have slightly different attitudes. Some like to use these dead hours cleaning their noses and some others leaning out of their windows for animated communication using graphic hand signals with other drivers who have enraged them on the road. Sometimes the men appear almost horizontal in the mirror. They keep their seats at a 150 degree or so angle, simulating a bed. Perhaps they are more concerned with catching up on sleep.

The rear view movie repeats itself everyday with endless reruns of the same episodes. You may not be able to name the characters in the show but you know their faces. You know how long they are going to stay behind you and the exact moment at which they’ll veer to the left or the right of you, tired of staying behind, and raring to pass you and blow right by you. It’s as if they suddenly wake up and ask themselves what they are doing behind a car when they could be finding gaps within the cars or traveling along the shoulders so they could give themselves a traffic advantage and a feeling of being the fittest in this survival scenario. For it is a jungle out there, one in which we’re trapped for good, unless an impulse carries us to an exit we’ve never taken before that leads to a place to which we’ve never traveled before, to the very edge of the boundaries within which we’ve enclosed ourselves.

Friday, December 1, 2006

The Attack of the Pet Peeves

It's as if all my pet peeves are baring their snarling teeth at me and attacking. Yesterday it was the flying spit, today, as I was driving, the driver of the car in front of me flicked his cigarette out the window. It angers me no end when I see anyone do that. Today the burning, glowing remnant of this cigarette hit my windshield. Sparks flew all over as I swerved a little, startled.

I wish people could learn how to behave!